May 10, 2007

ALL These People Scare Me

By Mary Lyon

Not to rip off Alaska Democratic presidential hopeful Mike Gravel, but ALL these people scare me. Every one of them. Past, present, and future. I'm not even sure where to start, and there certainly doesn't seem to be any end to it.

So let's start at the most recent. Alberto "I don't recall" Gonzales. This column is written after the painful and enraging experience of having to sit through yet another of his visits to political Alzheimers land. Perhaps it's because he wasn't on the stage with all those nice aging white guys at the recent republi-CON presidential hopefuls' debate. They were all worshipping at the grave of Ronald Reagan, and poor Mr. Torture didn't have a good excuse to go join them (heaven forbid he ever considers running for president). So I guess he decided to do the next best thing, being the good, loyal (Bushie) republi-CON that he is. He invoked the Alzheimers god in St. Ronnie's honor. After all, thanks to Nancy Reagan's campaign for stem cell research to benefit the battle against Alzheimers disease, that's one of the major things for which the late GOP deity will be best remembered. Ironic, isn't it? Good job, Alberto! You kept on not remembering anything. In fact, there were at least two Democratic Congresswomen who wanted to know not only if you remembered squat, but whether you even knew squat. Okay, fine. Next.

Let's try the Snow White Ten Dwarves, as long as we just revisited the Reagan memorial airplane hanger in Simi Valley , California . I guess I better. They do qualify as people who scare me. Ten little idiots with major testosterone issues, no less. Who would out-macho the others? Who'd be first to pick a fight with Iran ? Who'd be first to pick a fight with the female reproductive system? Who was more conservative than thou? Who'd let businesses fire gays the quickest? Who'd be first to dig up the body of Charles Darwin so he could be posthumously burned at the stake? Who'd look best wearing the crown of Mr. 9/11 America ? Who could text message the Almighty the fastest - and on His private cell phone, to boot? Who would be the next anointed one? Oh, fabulous! Six-and-a-half years, so far, of violent, bloodthirsty, cold-hearted, closed-minded, scheming, greedy, deceitful, imperialistic crap that's already a PROVEN failure, and what this country really needs is MORE of it! Only just harder, bloodier, more ruthless, more ferocious, and definitely sneakier so we get away with it all next time!

Scary stuff indeed. But it can also be incoming. Funny about that other guy who seemed to scare all ten of them. Not Chris Matthews or the other two nerds asking questions, but rather the GOP's very own answer to Harry Potter's Lord Voldemort - "He Who Must Not Be Named". After all, that particular guy once made a lot of hay out of proclaiming how he, too, was anointed by God.

George W. Bush was the one individual who evidently scared the bejeezus out of everybody under the wings of the old Air Force One - and then some. They dared not even mention him, even though they all aspire to follow in his footsteps - quite literally, policy-wise. Nice legacy you're working up there, Junior! I'd be scared of Young George, too. Actually, I still am. There's still a lot of damage he and his short, stubby friend Dick can do to screw what's left of our democracy before their political Viagra prescriptions expire. Even as this column is written, according to the L.A. Times and Daily Kos, Bush has signed a new executive order authorizing contingency plans to be developed in the event of a "decapitating" attack on the federal government. It's to be run by the White House instead of FEMA or the Department of Homeland Security - curiously enough, two entities still beholden to Congressional oversight. Hmmm. the White House is anticipating another national emergency? One that they'd rather handle themselves, behind closed doors where no one can see what they're up to, which cronies they're appointing to the task, and which of our remaining rights and freedoms they're preempting? You know, those freedoms that almost 35-HUNDRED of our troops have been sent to their deaths to defend? Did we say scary?

It's Bush himself who should be scared. Same for Cheney - who is actually named on Dennis Kucinich's HR333 - a three-count IMPEACHMENT bill. Unfortunately, the Dick-ster has been too busy swaggering around Baghdad , trying to intimidate the Iraqi government into playing ball his way. As I understand it, we've formally arrived at "game time" now. What would the last four years be, then? Batting practice? Rehearsal? Foreplay, maybe? I would think Cheney might be at least nominally shaken. After all, he had to be hustled to yet another undisclosed location after explosions went off in the Green Zone near where he was busily swaggering.

As for Dubya, he really ought to be the most fearful of all. Perhaps he is and we just aren't hearing about it since the media still seems to have a vested interest in keeping him protected. They must still be scared of him, too. Bush has every right to be afraid, although he's too insulated and fawned over to realize that he's just had his own personalized version of a "Goldwater Moment." Eleven congress members from his own party just finished sitting him down and trying to talk sense into him. Give it up, George, they told him. The local serfs back in the home districts are ready to revolt - and, horror of horrors, may actually vote Democratic next time. They want Bush's war stopped, period. They don't even care anymore that Rovian strategists keep trying to smear the rescue of our troops from Iraq as a defeat. And whatever news is to come about Bush's war, the folks at home have told these hapless reps it better not come from George. They don't believe him anymore. Be afraid, Mr. Bush. Be very afraid. This is not where you want to be with your own people, this long before the next inauguration.

Sadly, George knows only how to instill fear in others, not how to cope with it himself. That's probably why he's not reacting to this most significant warning. But he might want to start. Maybe Laura or Barney could try talking sense into him. Or perhaps his "ladyfriend," Contradicta, could give it a go, unless she'd rather remain in hiding to avoid Henry Waxman's subpoena. He might actually listen if it was Karl Rove delivering the message, but Rove is whistling past his own graveyard, pretending he still has it all under control.

Frankly, ALL of them should be very afraid - of US. WE the voters are the ones who grabbed the steering wheel and forced the Bushmobile down this unfamiliar new road that's only growing rougher and more treacherous by the day. It's WE who yanked the gavels of power out of the hands of the cover-up crowd of "loyal Bushies" in the House and Senate half a year ago. It's WE who are now driving the speeding locomotive filled with the many investigators, questioners and oversight hounds in Congress. It's WE who are storming the phone lines of people like John Murtha, who now has gone on record on the Sunday talk shows reporting the growing demands for IMPEACHMENT. Undoubtedly, the so-called "Gang of Eleven" who tried to level with "the Commander Guy" upstairs at the White House have heard similar earfuls by the truckload. And if they're saying it, many more multiples of others are hearing it, too. I suspect even the ten bombastic self-appointed "heirs of Reagan" are no strangers to it, as well.

Yes. These people all give me the shakes, alright. But it's increasingly satisfying to know that others like me have started returning the favor.

Visualize IMPEACHMENT!!!
Then go DO something about it.


Mary Lyon is a veteran broadcaster and five-time Golden Mike Award winner who has anchored, reported, and written for the Associated Press Radio Network, NBC Radio "The Source," and many Los Angeles-area stations including KRTH-FM/AM, KLOS-FM, KFWB-AM, and KTLA-TV, and occasional media analyst for ABC Radio News.  Mary began her career as a liberal activist with the Student Coalition for Humphrey / Muskie in 1968 and helped spearhead a regional campaign, The Power 18, to win the right to vote for 18-year-olds. She remains an advocate for liberal causes, responsibility and accountability in media, environmental education and support of the arts for children, and green living. Mary writes for,, World News Trust, and's We! Magazine. Mary is also a parenting expert, having written and illustrated the book "The Frazzled Working Woman's Practical Guide to Motherhood."

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